A Fossil in the Mud
by FoREvEr ends
Summary: DISCONTINUED! Perhaps the best way to gain your interest is to state that I’m a loser. Or lie and say that I’m a wonderful girl, and this is a swashbuckling story. Or we could just stick with: I was perfectly happy until HE came along.
1. Prologue: A Grain of Sand

DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the setting and everything that you see in the Harry Potter books. Thanks to Rowling for a brilliant world to write of. However, I do own a few original characters and ideas. If anything in here seems related to another story/fanfic, sorry! It's really not.

**

* * *

Prologue: A Grain of Sand**

**

* * *

**

I'd like to say that I'm a pretty, smart, vivacious, kind, and loved person. Oh, and throw in popular and outgoing, as well. Funny and individual would also work. Or maybe forthright and blunt. There's a ton of things that I'd like to call myself. But there are only several, less favorable adjectives than the ones above that I have the right to use. But you really don't have any reason in reading this.

Huh, what's that?

_You _want toget to know_ me_? _Me_? Of _all people_?

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm sure that you have a million other things to do than listen to me talk about my pathetic life. You wouldn't bother with someone like me.

Bye, then.

* * *

Oh, you're still here? Ah, well, that presents a problem. What could you possibly want to know about _me_?

Anything?

Whoa, you must need a life, too.

Okay, well, I guess the least I could do for you is tell you about myself, though I doubt you'd be interested.

I can sum myself all up in one word: ordinary.

Right now, you might be thinking, "You say it like it's a bad thing!"

Truth is, it's the worst thing that could ever happen to you: being ordinary. You see, I have first-hand knowledge of what it's like to be nothing out of the ordinary. I'm not pretty; my features are passable, not striking, but neither is it horrendously ugly. God, sometimes I just wish that I _were_ ugly so I'd get some notice. But no, even my prayers for ugliness were never answered. Is event _that_ too much to ask?

Anyways, I'm in Ravenclaw, the "smart" house, but my grades aren't the highest in my year, or even my class. I'm not the best in anything. There's nothing about me that sets me apart.

"Best" is reserved for other girls, girls who actually have a personality, an identity. Girls like Zoë Fielding. She is beauty and brains all rolled into one; that girl has got it going for her. She has it all. To make matters even worse, Zoë is kind, generous, caring, and outgoing, though too much of a preppy girl—but that's only in my biased, jealous opinion. Most people would just consider her kind, generous, caring, and outgoing, without the preppy part. Zoë is perfect—perfectly _out_ of the ordinary.

Are you reacting with disgust to my jealousy? Well, screw you. All my life I've been ignored and neglected, and I think I will treat myself to a bit of self-pity and self-indulgence.

Oh, all right. I can sense your disapproval pressing in on me like noxious fumes. I like Zoë. She is wonderful and nice. She's one of the few people who say hi to me in passing. But she has what I'll never have.

Right there. I just showed one of my unfavorable traits. I'm such a pushover. I care deeply what other people think of me.

Well, actually I like to think that I _used_ to care deeply. And, as shameful as it is to admit, I used to be willing to do almost anything for a bit of attention. I'm glad I've gotten a bit better now. After all, several years of jumping at everyone's beck and call can really wear a person down. And I realized that I was downright pathetic, kissing people's arses in return for a little pat on the head and a moment of attention, just as a person would give a dog. So I just decided to stop. There wasn't any point anyway, and being a doormat and an intruder upon others is nothing near to fun, plus utterly degrading.

You get what I mean, don't you? Nobody likes being trod all over, like a doormat. Doormats never get thanked, let alone cleaned every one in a while. They're so ill-used and under appreciated…

So here I am, all alone, an stranger with even my own year mates. I feel so unwanted, so much like an outcast, so much of a burden. I don't want to inflict my presence upon other people.

Okay… I'll spare you guys the rest of my self-pitying babble. Nobody will want to hear it.

Anyway, I think I've gotten used to my life by now. There's nothing wrong with it… it's not like I'm dying or depressed to the point of suicide. Nope, I'm just invisible, alone. But it's perfectly fine with me, since being alone is the only way of living that I know. And over the years, I've found my own life, separate from the other students. I know it might sound a little stupid, but I don't care. This life is all I know, and it's all I'll ever want. People think that there might be only one way to live—with other people. But that is so not true.

There's more than one way to be happy. There's more than one way to deal with shyness. There's more than one way to live. And that's how I built my own life. My own existence. I have my very own dream world, a place where some people dream about. I can go all day without speaking to a single person… and I love it.

So, you still want to find out all about me? About my ordinary, average life of laughing with me, sleeping with Mr. Poo and Kusco, whistling for the owls, and counting the crags in the walls? I assure you, it's nothing out of the ordinary. How could it be anything other than that when I live the life beyond the spotlight?

* * *

I guess I didn't think you'd be satisfied with just that. Actually, there _is_ more to my life than that. There's _him_, and Lily, and James, and Remus, and Peter, and Lexie… well, I don't know if Lexie counts.

And you might wonder, "Who the hell is Lexie?"

Lexie is—it's kind of embarrassing to say this—Lexie is _me_. The different half of me, that is. Maybe she's my subconscious— my really acerbic, sarcastic, prickly subconscious. Well, anyways, my point is that Lexie is me, myself, and I.

An even better question for you is: "And who the hell are _you_?"

Me…? I am Alexis Ellison, Alex for short (do you see where Lexie comes from?). I used to be a happy girl, off in my own world where nobody could ever hurt me. I used to lead a life without needing the company of others, until _he_ forced his way into my life and glued himself onto my heart. _He_ is the whole reason I had to wake up from my ideal dream world; _he_ broke my protective shell to bare my defenseless side to everyone. And _he_ showed me how hard caring for someone could be. _He_ ruined the existence I built up for myself after years. Without even asking, _he_ had barged into my life, even when I pushed him away, to rip my perfect world to shreds. _He_ sees me like no one else does. And even when I try to hide, he always rips back my covers unmercifully.

You must be dying to ask, "Who is '_he_?'"

'He' is none other than Sirius Black, the legendary playboy of Hogwarts, the debonair, suave, charismatic hottie of every girl's wildest dreams, the king of popularity, the center of all attention, an honorary (well, maybe honorary isn't the best word) member of the Marauders, the top student in almost every class, the so out-of-the-ordinary guy, and the brightest star in the night sky.

Sirius Black is more like a black hole than a star; he pulled me inexorably out of my secluded, but perfectly content life and into a whole new existence of people—of the potential of getting hurt.

Are you thinking, "What does she mean by that?"

Well, the meaning is quite clear: whenever you are with other people, you will always get hurt. That is the whole reason why I built myself a life without people, a life where I could never get hurt, a life where I didn't need anybody and nobody needed me. There were no obligations or commitments I had to hold to, no complications or headaches over anyone, no fights with others, no tears shed, and, most importantly, no hurt feelings! There was nothing but happiness and contentment in the way I lived my life. There was only me… me. Nobody else. I didn't have to think about anybody else.

And then Sirius Black banged down my previously imperturbable walls. He pulled me to him like a moth to a flame, unrelenting and persistent, despite the danger. No, that pull is too weak to describe my feelings. He reeled me in like a black hole sucks in all light, and nothing can escape once it reaches the event horizon. Once I got close enough to Sirius, I couldn't pull away.

Sometimes I wonder why he chose me. Why me, when he had the whole female population in the school throwing themselves at his feet? Why me? I'm no looker. I'm no genius. I am completely ordinary….

But Sirius saw past that. He saw me, and he made me see the person I was and could be once I opened up. He proved that even a grain of sand in an endless desert could become a diamond in the rough.


	2. Chapter One: Encounters

**--**

**A/N: Thanks to those people who have reviewed! This story isn't turning out nearly as complicated and as long as Hidden Flames, so there won't be that many chapters, and the chapters aren't that long either. **

**pyro-2389:** Thanks so much for your review! It really gave me the extra push to finish this chapter, since no one else seemed very enthusiastic about this story.

**violet:** Thanks!

**Staphanie:** Um... when you read it I still hadn't introduced the characters in the prologue, and I fixed it now. Anyways, you'll find out more about the characters in this chapter.

**LaUrEn321:** Thanks for your review!! I do hope that this is funny.

**Joy:** I know you're screaming, "This one sucks monkey butt!" Lol. Well, I hope you like this chapter better!

**amanda-gurl--** Thanks! This is still going to be about Sirius/OC, since he's my favorite character!

--

**---Chapter One: Encounters---**

**--**

The normal morning rush to get to breakfast in the Great Hall before classes started was taking place. As usual, I got up from the table as soon as the tide of people started flowing in. I always got up and ate early, since there wouldn't be as many chattering, happy people around. Because I was such a horrid, jealous person, their companionable conversations made me extremely annoyed.

Anyways, back to the subject. Actually, was there ever a subject to begin with...?

'_Oh, stop it before you hurt yourself_,' a voice in my head snapped at me. Since I'd been in touch with this voice for a long time, I knew that it was the wiser side of me, and I obeyed it nearly all the time. I had named her Lexie. '_Stop describing me. Why don't you just think about the present?' _

Right. It was already the beginning of my last year here at Hogwarts.

Blimey. In all my six years here so far, I can't rightly say that I did anything worthwhile. After all, my days were only filled up with whatever thing I could think of for myself to do while normal people were socializing with each other. I hadn't made a single friend so far, and I doubt I can even call anyone my _acquaintance_. Well, there goes six years.

But that's okay. I don't need any friends. I have myself.

I left the Great Hall silently and made my way to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom to quickly grab some minutes of reading before class started. I don't know why, but I have an obsession with sitting on a toilet with my feet pulled up while reading. It gives me a sense of security and safety. Really, no one will be bursting into the girl's bathroom—Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, no less—and charging inside random stalls to find me. Nobody would bother. Nobody would even notice if I were missing, like the time when my older brother accidentally locked me up inside a pyramid while we were visiting Egypt (had it really been accidental?). It had taken two days before somebody noticed and came back to get me. It was a good thing I hadn't panicked.

'_Hadn't panicked? Did you _see_ yourself? You were running around the tombs like a headless chicken until I told you to get a grip.' _I firmly ignored Lexie's sniping voice. ANYWAYS, the one good thing about that trip was that I actually had a bit of attention from my parents.

'_That was because they were upset that you made them buy more entrance tickets to the pyramids they had already visited so that they could find out which pyramid you were in to get you out._'

So ANYWAYS, the whole point of that particular story was to come to the conclusion that I can probably count on one hand the number of people in this school who actually know my name.

Oh, well. There's no point in moping about my life, since I am the one responsible for it. '_Wow, that's right! I can't believe you were right today already! It usually takes a couple hour ...' _Lexie snickered in my head. I reached Moaning Myrtle's bathroom with 30 minutes before classes started, so I promptly took a seat on one of the toilets, pulled my legs up, groped around in my bag for my current reading material, and settled down comfortably to start reading. The gurgling of the pipes echoed around me. Moaning Myrtle, true to her name, cried loudly in the next stall, though I ignored her. We'd reached an understanding after a while: I leave her alone in her misery, and she leaves me alone in my ordinariness.

The book I was currently reading was cheesier than the usual romance novel, though I didn't really care. I liked reading about how guys fell for girls and girls fell for guys. Though almost all the time the main characters had distinguishing traits, just like the girl whom I was reading about now. I couldn't relate to characters like that.

_Selene wasn't beautiful, but she had a certain charm and allure that radiated off of her body through each of her graceful movements. And her smile... her smile was like the sun shining through the clouds on a rainy day. It could be so sudden and unexpected, but its radiance and pure beauty was undeniable. Selene's smile transformed her face from passing to nothing short of stunning. She _glowed

Now that was probably just a bunch of crap. Really, how can someone's face be fully transformed by one smile, even truly happy smile? People use this in stories all the time, and I don't buy it. A smile is a smile. A plain face is a plain face. There's no changing it. A person is either beautiful or not.

But even I can't deny that there's a charm to reading things like the above, like even someone ordinary can be special. I don't have to buy it to enjoy reading it. That's how I dream of myself. I like to imagine that I have a brilliant smile that will change my face into something gorgeous and ethereal. When I was younger, I even tried looking in the mirror and smiling at myself. But there's no change in my features. My nose doesn't become regal or aristocratic, my eyes don't become larger and brighter, and my cheekbones don't get any higher. See? Those romance books are cheating reality (even though I love cheating on reality). Why am I such a hypocrite? Hm... actually, if I think about it, almost everyone is a bit of a hypocrite—

Okay, enough with the random ramblings of my wandering brain. I crossed my legs and fell to reading my romance book until the bell rang. I didn't mind going to class all that much. Everyone would be there, and I wouldn't feel like such a loner. During break hours, everyone gets to do whatever they want with whomever they want, and no once wants me, so I end up as a loner. But during class time, everyone is forced to sit in the classroom, and I'm not so much of a loner. I'm just a part of the crowd, and I love being a part of the crowd. For that matter, I love being part of anything. So the whole point of this long rambling was to show that class time is actually very enjoyable.

My logic. It's undeniable.

'_You're thinking again, aren't you?'_ Lexie mocked me nastily. It was a good thing that I had become very good at overlooking her.

I quickly gathered up my things and left the bathroom quickly, heading for the Transfiguration classroom. The Ravenclaws had double Transfiguration with the Gryffindors today. McGonagall had hinted at starting animal transfigurations today, and I didn't want to be late. What if she was going to teach us how to be Animagi? I'd always wanted to be either a falcon or a panther. They're both incredibly sexy.

Bloody hell. I shouldn't be thinking of animals like that. Maybe it was a sign of how desperate I was.

Quickly slamming the visor down on one of my oldest knight friends and ignoring his cries ("Come back here, Ellison! I know you did it, I just know it!"), I briskly walked towards McGonagall's classroom.

Slipping silently through the door, I took a seat at the back of the classroom, my usual spot, and waited for the rest of the class to file in. In came Zoë Fielding with her train of admirers and worshipers all slavering on her heels. Doesn't she ever get tired of them? Lily Evans, the queen of Gryffindor and the Head Girl this year, came stalking in next, her pale cheeks red with anger. Probably angry at James Potter. Lily and I used to be almost-acquaintances. She used to say hi to me in the hallways. But when fourth year rolled around, and Lily had a sudden beauty spurt, which immediately elevated her to some pedestal that was too high for her to see me. Well, that's how the world goes: on and on with never a moment to lose.

It sucks monkey butt.

Professor McGonagall's sharp voice jerked me back to attention.

"Sit down, sit down," McGonagall said briskly, rapping her knuckles against her desk. For a moment, the room was in a sort of organized chaos while students scrambled to get to their seats, and then silence reigned. I could practically taste the anticipation in the air. Everyone was expecting another show of McGonagall's Animagi skills.

She shattered everyone's painful hopes the next moment.

"I have done some rethinking over the night," McGonagall stated crisply. Everyone groaned at that statement. This would not bode well. "Rethinking" often meant that the teacher had decided to try something easier to avoid having so many students miss classes because of some injury, deformity, or abnormality caused by spells gone wrong.

"And," she continued, ignoring the class's groans with the expertise of years of experience, "I've decided to push back animal transformations until next month, due to several students who refuse to act their age in my class." Here she gave a pointed look at the famed Marauders, the golden pranksters of the school. "Therefore I will go along with my better judgment. Because of the immature behavior of the said students"—she gave another pointed look at the Marauders—"I have devised a much better study program. This, however, has nothing to do with transfiguration skills. Instead, it is focused on improving behavioral patterns and morality of students."

Since I was sitting in the back, I could see everyone in the class sink down in his or her seats, cringing away from the inevitably horrible behavior-improving study program. It was almost like a wave.

"All of you shall be observing a teacher, any teacher, for this project. Your assignment is to closely follow any one of your professors and take notes on his or her reactions to various situations. Hopefully, a close examination and investigation of your teachers' exemplary personalities will train you all to become more mature, responsible, modest, and reliable," McGonagall finished up in a satisfied voice.

My jaw dropped. She wanted us to _stalk_ a teacher so we could _improve our sinful natures_? She must have been getting stressed out, what with the Marauders and all those Marauder wannabes.

"You will be working in partners, since there aren't enough teachers to go around for all of you to have an individual one. You can all stop looking for your friends," McGonagall proclaimed sternly, "because I will be doing to the pairing."

I must have been the only one who sighed with relief. If she was going to partner all of us up, then I wouldn't have to worry about being left partner-less. Everybody else burst into an immediate objection.

"Settle down," McGonagall barked. "This is exactly the kind of behavior that I have been working to cull out of students. I've already made the pairs, so there is no use complaining now!"

"Aw, but _Professor_—!"

"Why can't we just do animal transfiguration?"

"_Please_?"

The whole room burst into whining complaints and protests, but nothing would sway McGonagall's decision. She merely pulled out a piece of parchment, adjusted her spectacles, and started reading off partners.

"Sarah Delgado and Heather Viogna!" The two girls squealed with delight—they were mutual friends and preps.

"Diana Glico and Remus Lupin!" Diana looked as if she was about to faint with delight, while Lupin just looked distinctly creeped out.

I only half-listened for my name. It didn't really matter who I was put with, since I didn't know one person better than the next. It was a twist of fate that I landed with the person I did.

"Sirius Black"—I could practically hear the intake of breaths of anticipation from most of the girls in the class—"and Alexis Ellison."

Wait. That was me. Yes, Alexis Ellison is me. Had I heard right? I was paired up with the undeniably hot, suave, charismatic, magnetic, and most-wanted bachelor Sirius Black, one of the famous Marauder pranksters?

Most girls would have considered it a dream come true. Instead, it was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. Heads turned and probed around the room, obviously looking for me.

"Who's Alexis Ellison?" I heard Black say quite loudly.

Then, in an equally loud voice, I heard his best mate James Potter reply carelessly, "I dunno. Must be new or something."

I could have just shriveled up and died right there. Yes, attending Hogwarts for six years is definitely classified as new.

Professor McGonagall looked as if she was about roll her eyes at Black and Potter's words. "Alexis, would you please raise your hand?" But even McGonagall was looking the wrong way. She was staring expectantly at somewhere near the window, while I was sitting on the other side of the room. Even the teacher didn't know me. Honestly, did she even have to the right to almost roll her eyes when she didn't know who I was either? She took roll everyday, for heaven's sake.

Since everybody had directed his or her gazes towards the point where McGonagall was gazing, it was several moments before anybody noticed my hand in the air.

"Oh... there you are, Ms. Nelson," Professor McGonagall said, evidently flustered.

"It's Ellison," I muttered. "Alex _Ellison_." But nobody heard me.

"So, she is your partner, Mr. Black," McGonagall finished up. Sirius Black glanced at me and ran a disinterested and almost disappointed look over me. I schooled my face into an expressionless mask, hoping that Black would at least have the intelligence level to refrain from making a degrading comment while I was present. I knew exactly what he was thinking, and it was somewhere along the lines of: "Why _her_?"

So, as McGonagall finished up the rest of the pairings, I sank lower and lower into my seat until I was sure only my forehead was showing. I could practically feel the jealous glances that girls directed at me. Worst of all, Black made no movement to come sit by me, as other people were doing for their own partners—and I wasn't going to be the one to get up.

"Now, get together with your partners and discuss your project. I want all of you to come up with your own individual methods of observing a particular teacher, and at the end, you must turn in a detailed report of your professor's personality, habits, and character, along with an assessment of yourself and how you plan to improve your sinful natures," McGonagall asserted. "You have the rest of the period to talk over this project. Once you have decided on a teacher to observe, come up to me. It is on a first-com-first-serve basis."

Great. Just dandy. I darted a quick glance towards Black, but he wasn't looking at me. He was lounging easily back in his seat, laughing with his friends with a wild abandon.

Lucky me. Lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky. I was going to have to go over there.

'_Well, duh_,' Lexie twittered. '_Now get a move on_.'

"Shut up," I muttered. "For once in your miserable life, just shut up, Lexie."

'_I've been alive as long as you have.'_

"Smartass," I shot back.

"Who are you talking to?"

"You, no duh," I responded rudely. Lexie merely sniggered at me. It took me several seconds to figure out that Lexie was sniggering at me because it hadn't been her that I had exchanged my last sentence with. Crap. I looked up, preparing myself for the worst. Yep, Black was standing there in all his cuteness, staring at me with a quizzical expression on his face.

I cringed.

"Sorry?" he said, obviously disconcerted by me.

"Uh... nothing," I covered up hastily. "So, uh, what do you think we should do for the project?"

Black stared at me as if I were crazy before taking a seat next to me. "I don't know."

There was an uncomfortable silence while I desperately searched for something to say. "Okay... how about we come up with a schedule first?" I blurted out the first thing that came into my mind. Grabbing several scrolls of parchment, I clumsily wrenched open my ink bottle and dipped my quill into it. Scribbling down the label, I jerked my head up towards Black, waiting expectantly.

Sirius Black was grinning at _me_!

Oh, wait, sorry. No, he was grinning at the girl behind me. I turned around and saw Zoë smiling and giggling from across the room. Her pretty blue eyes were alight with delight, and she flipped her hair back flirtatiously. _She_ was the one that Black was grinning at.

I ducked my head down, embarrassed at my assumption that Black had been staring at me.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Black's voice cut back into my mind again.

"We should make a schedule first," I muttered, letting a curtain of my brown hair fall forward to hide my face.

"What about deciding on a teacher to stalk first?" Black suggested whimsically. I fought the urge to slap him for making me look stupid.

"Okay," I agreed instead. "Which one would you like to study?"

"I dunno," he shrugged carelessly.

Well, we were certainly getting somewhere. "How about Professor Flitwick?" I suggested a bit timidly.

"Nah," he rejected, "he's too squeaky."

"Professor Gadgen?" I asked.

"He'll probably curse us," was Black's only acknowledgement.

"McGonagall?"

"I wouldn't want to catch her in her nightgown for anything."

"Vindictus?"

"You want _him_ to be our role model? He's as spineless as a jellyfish!"

"Then you think of something!" I finally snapped. Immediately, I clapped my hands over my mouth and glanced sideways at Black to see if he took any offense.

'_Come on, he didn't take too much of an offense when he thought you called him a smartass_,' Lexie piped up.

"Shut _up_," I hissed at her.

"Excuse me?" Black interrupted my argument with... er, me.

"Uh..." I jerked up and stared at his dark eyes. "Uh..."

'_Yeah, you are a regular Einstein_,' Lexie snickered.

"That guy was talking too loud," I said wildly, pointing in a random direction while Black arched an eyebrow.

"Right... you _do_ know that you're pointing at the wall, right?"

Great. Now Black thought that I was a deranged madwoman.

'_It's better than being nothing, though, isn't it_?' Lexie jeered. Man, I really hate the side of me that created her. She always badmouthed me like there was no tomorrow.

"So, what were you saying?" I hastened to say, twirling my quill between two of my fingers. It was a bad habit, but I couldn't stop. My quill was a special parchment-flavored lollipop on one end, so it provided the perfect weight so that I could twirl it very fast.

"We could do it on Kettleburn," he repeated. I sense a deep and rather bitter acceptance in his voice, as if he were resigning himself to work with a simpleton. I wanted to shout, "Hey, I'm as excited as you are about this project! And why Kettleburn?" I'll bet he was planning some sort of devious prank to play on the old man.

"Sure..." I nodded hurriedly, twirling my quill even faster.

'_Brilliant response. Simply brilliant_.' Lexie always chose the most convenient times to make fun of me. I _had_ to get rid of her somehow.

"Let's go tell McGonagall, then," Black said, getting up from his eat with a casual elegance that I could never hope to achieve. I jerkily slammed my quill and pushed out of my seat so hard that I almost fell over. The only thing that saved me was the chair getting jammed into the crook of the desk.

Gritting my teeth, I extracted myself from the desk and hurriedly caught up to Black, who was already speaking to McGonagall.

"We've decided to do Kettleburn, Professor," Black said, smiling charmingly. Was he trying to hit on _McGonagall_? Oh, _God_.

"_Professor_ Kettleburn, Mr. Black," McGonagall replied primly. "Sorry, he's already been chosen."

"Huh?" Black faltered. "Then what about Flitwick?"

"Taken."

"Folia?"

"Taken."

"Gadgen?"

"Taken."

"_Vindictus_?" I could tell that Black was getting desperate.

"Taken."

"Then who's left?"

Professor McGonagall smiled. It was not a very nice smile; it had more of the quality of a wildcat eyeing its prey. "Professor Delaney."

My jaw dropped. Delaney was a barmy old nutcase! Studying _her_.... It couldn't get any worse.

"Well, now you have your assigned teacher. Go ahead and start making plans," McGonagall advised. I swear I could hear a touch of sugary sweetness in her voice. Evil teachers.

Black blinked a few times before turning an interesting shade of puce. Then he jerked a bit and turned around, a funny look on his face. I had to stifle a little laugh at that oddly contorted expression coupled along with the color as we made our way back to our seats.

"So..." I began. "Now can we make a schedule?"

"Okay..." he replied.

Wow, this was a profound conversation.

I went back to twirling my quill as we both stared into space, an uncomfortable silence stretching between. This was completely out of character for Black. I had thought that he joked all the time and flirted with girls at any opportunity.

'_Well, you aren't counted as a real girl, are you_?' Lexie interjected. '_Where's your incredibly low-necklined shirt? And the tight, short skirt? And you have to be outgoing and flirty as well_.'

"If being a girl is doing all that crap, then it's better off if I'm not," I muttered under my breath. I stole a quick glance at Black to make sure he hadn't heard me talking to Lexie yet again.

All the while, my quill twirled around my fingers with incredible speed, fueled by my nervousness. A single slip was all it took to make it fly out of my hand. With horror, I jerked my head around to follow the lollipop's progress through the air... and right smack dab into Sirius Black's silky black hair. His head jolted around as he felt the quill connect to with his head. _And it stuck_. Yes, _my_ lollipop quill, the yummy paper-flavored one, had been flung right into Black's hair, where it was becoming tangled and stuck.

Horrified at myself, I quickly put my head back down, scrabbled for another quill, and began scribbling furiously on the parchment, flinging in whatever I knew about Professor Delaney, the Divination teacher. Out of the corner of my eye and through my protective curtain of hair, I watched as Black shot up in his seat like deer caught in headlights.

Biting my lips to keep from laughing out loud, I bent my head even lower down to the desk. Black was now giving James Potter the evil eye.

"Phgh...Hey, um, B-Black...?" I sputtered out in an effort to contain my laughter. As he turned his dark, intense gaze on me, I floundered around wildly for an actual question to ask. "Do you... do you... do you like... M-Moaning Myrtle?"

'_IDIOT_!' Lexie screamed. '_Of all the things you could have asked, you go and ask him if he likes MOANING MYRTLE??! Please! You are a shame! You are so horribly incompetent at improvising that I might have to start giving you lessons!'_

"You're calling _me_ the idiot?" I gasped indignantly. "You _are_ me! That means that you can't improvise any more than I can! And you're going to give me lessons off that?"

Too late I realized that I had been a trifle loud. I clapped my hands over my mouth and stared back at Black, who was staring back at me, his eyes almost bugging out of his head and his mouth slack, obviously still reeling from the shock that I could even consider that he liked Moaning Myrtle.

"Hehe..." I laughed nervously. "About that... uh... uh...uh...uh..."

'_Stop it with the 'uh's' already_!' Lexie snapped after what seemed like an eternity of 'uh's.'

The bell rang.

Thank God! I was spared an answer by the bell, the regular gift from God. I quickly stuffed everything into my bag and departed at high speed, leaving an open-mouthed Sirius Black behind me. Once I was almost at the door, I glanced behind me, and the sight of Black looking so surprised and stoned with a lollipop quill stuck in his hair goaded me to run out of the classroom. I pounded along the hallways until I reached a little-used corridor. Collapsing on the ground, I panted for breath.

Then the laughter took over. Soon I was giggling, and then laughing uproariously, and then rolling around on the ground and pounding it with my fists.

Sirius Black—with a candy bar tangled in his hair!

ll----ll

Thank Merlin it's Sunday. I have a whole free day today to do whatever I want. Since I hadn't visited the owls lately, I decided to devote my whole morning to the Owlery. Digging out my trusty canvas from in my trunk, I exited the Ravenclaw common room confidently.

Whenever I visited the Owlery, I always had to bring my canvas cover for two major reasons. One, it protected me from the poop that sometimes fell without warning, and two, I had cast a camouflage spell on it so that people coming up wouldn't see me. I had figured that people might find it a bit disconcerting to find a girl kneeling under a canvas whistling in the Owlery. After the reaction of the first person who had caught me in the Owlery with my canvas cover before I had started spelling it to camouflage, I had no desire to see another reaction.

I climbed the long spiral staircase up to the Owlery. Happily closing the door behind me, I cooed a welcome to the owls, which all fluttered and hooted back at me.

Smiling gleefully, I chose a nice spot near the corner of the room, settled my canvas over my head and under my butt, and cast the camouflage spell over it. I bowed in my seat, imagining that I had just stepped into the middle of a stage, all the spotlights were trained on me, and a thunderous applause was ringing in my ears.

"Thank you, thank you!" I said to my audience. "And now, for my performance,"—another round of applause—"Sonata in C Major!" More heart-warming applause filled up the room. Closing me eyes—it was hard to imagine a grand stage filled with hundreds of people when I was looking at the wooden, poop-covered floor of the Owlery—I wet my lips and began to warble the Scooby Doo theme song. It wasn't a Sonata in C Major or anything like that, but who cares? I had gotten quite good at whistling over the years, if I do say so myself. At regular intervals, I added in several hoots, just for the owls.

With my eyes closed, I could lose myself in my imagination. I could almost see the people down in the audience, their faces lifted with enrapture at my riveting Scooby Doo version. One woman even had tears streaming down her face because of the emotion I put in.... With one last clear trill that held so sweetly it almost broke my audiences' hearts, I ended the song. Wild applause once again sounded in my ears, and I glowed with pleasure. The spotlights glared in my eyes, and I could hear cries of encore.

But then the lights faded and my audience melted away as quickly as fog dissipated under the sun, and I was left staring stupidly at the bare wooden wall opposite me. At least the owls were hooting more than usual. That could sort of be counted as applause....

Squashing down my disappointment that my audience shouting for encores was still only a dream, I wet my lips once again and cheeped out the first note to another song. Just then, the door to the Owlery banged open. Frightened out of my wits, I ducked my head under the canvas quickly, cursing myself for not hearing the footsteps. I had been too engrossed in my song.

Through a little hole in my canvas, I saw Sirius Black stride in through the open door, a look of confusion and suspicion on his face. Damnit. He had heard me whistling. Drawing myself into a tight ball and tucking the corners of my canvas in, I squinted at him, willing him to get out.

"Who's there?" he asked sharply. I sucked in my breath and tried to make as little noise as possible.

'Get out, get out, get out,' I prayed in my mind.

'_He's not getting out_!' Lexie whispered to me, and for the first time, she had a trace of panic in her voice.

'I know that,' I thought furiously. In fact, he was getting closer and closer. Too close. He walked around the room, and as he neared my corner, I tried to pull the canvas closer to my body.

He was almost on top of me! My heart nearly stopped when he looked straight at me. It started up again with a jerk when he looked away. Unconsciously, I breathed a sigh of relief.

'_Idiot_!' Lexie shrieked. '_How could you give us away_?' Sirius jerked back around, his eyes narrowing, and this time I had the feeling that he could see me. He took one step nearer, and then another....

Wham! Sirius had tripped on my foot even with my desperate attempt to recoil it. And his face hadn't landed in the best place possible. In fact, it was at the moment smack-dab on the floor covered with the thickest layer owl droppings.

Horrified, I scrambled to my feet and started backing away, thanking my lucky stars that my canvas was long enough to cover my feet. But it was my canvas that was my downfall. It just _had_ to go and make that horribly loud scraping noise! Sirius's head snapped up at the sound, his nose and forehead covered with bits of fresh bird dropping, and he leapt up, groping in my direction.

Damnit! Damn, damn, damn! His hand brushed against my canvas before I could back away, and he grabbed a corner! Stupid boy! He tugged the canvas right off me, and it was only my original grip on it that kept me from losing it. Gritting my teeth, I pulled on my canvas with all my might. I didn't want to lose it here! And what if he could do one of those spells that could trace things back to the owner??

Why hadn't I ever taken the time to work out and build some muscles? Why? _Why_? With one hard jerk, Sirius pulled the canvas out of my hands. One part of me was urging me to jump on him and wrestle it out of his hands, but then Lexie spoke.

'_Get out of here, you halfwit! He hasn't seen your face yet! Just get out! You can get another freaking cover later_!' she screeched. Without another look at Sirius, I turned on my heel and ran out the door, slamming it shut behind me.

'_Quickly, get down the stairs_!' Lexie shouted. I took two at a time. '_No, the stair rail! Honestly, haven't you been sliding for ages_?'

"Right!" I replied before jumping onto the stair rails. Thank goodness Mr. Poo told me to wear sweat pants, or it would have been excruciatingly painful sliding down. After several seconds of hard riding, I neared the bottom. Because I was still shaking and quite dizzy and scared from my encounter, I didn't _quite_ jump of the rail the right way, which resulted in... well, you get the picture.

"OW! Bloody hell!" I cursed quite loudly. For several seconds, I was unable to move, and I merely lay groaning on the ground.

'_Get up_!' Lexie urged. '_You think you're the only one who can slide down stair rails_?'

"I'm in pain right now! Can you give me a few seconds?" I snarled back at her. But I did get up, heaven knows how, given the pain I was feeling at the moment, and hobbled back to the Ravenclaw common room. Once I clattered into the room and slammed the door shut behind me, I turned back to the people in the room. For the first time, they were actually looking at me.

I cringed. Too late I realized that I had made a noisier entrance than I usually had. But the students were looking at me with more than just mild annoyance at the noise. A little surprise and disbelief was also mixed in. Suddenly it struck me how I might look. My hair messy and disheveled, my clothes all in disarray, my breath short and panting, flushed red... With that thought, more blood rushed to my face, and I made a break for the girls' dormitories.

"I never would have thought she would..."

"Wait, who is she anyway?"

"...Rejected for sure..."

"...Probably out in the hallways, no less..."

"...With who...?"

"...only James Potter or Sirius Black would do something like that..."

"_Her_? Give me a break. She's no looker..."

"Malfoy! Duh!"

"Ugh... defiled... rest of life... don't touch..."

The gossip broke out as soon as I started up the stairs. Couldn't these people at least have the decency to wait until I was out of earshot? They could make up whatever they bloody wanted about me as long as they left me alone. I had learned that it didn't really matter what conclusions people drew about me. None of them knew the truth anyway, and if nobody wanted to bother asking me about the truth, then nobody deserved to know.

I opened the door to the seventh year girls' dorm. None of my roommates were in, since it was a Sunday. Glad for the time alone, I went directly to my bed and collapsed on it. Pulling the drapes closed, I reached under my folded blankets and pulled out Mr. Poo and Kusco. Even though they were severely beaten up after years of confiding in, I still loved them.

"Do you know what just happened?" I whispered confidentially to the both of them.

"No, what?" I replied for them. Staring into Kusco and Mr. Poo's black beady eyes, I smiled and started relaying the whole episode to them. I had nothing to worry about when talking to them. They wouldn't ever hurt me. Not ever.

'_Maybe that's because they can't_,' Lexie's said, her voice sinister and _true_.

"So?" I snapped at her.

'_So they don't really count_.'

"So what? They can count if I want them to."

'_You're just lying to yourself, keeping yourself in the dark.'_

"That's how I like it," I told Lexie. "You should know that."

'_Yes, I think I should_.' Lexie had an amused tone to her voice. '_I'm the one who has to deal with it all the time_.'

"_You're_ the one?" I snapped. "We're the same, or have you forgotten?"

'_I wish I could have forgotten_.'

"Shut up," I growled. And for once, she actually did. I turned my attention back to Mr. Poo and Kusco, exasperated at myself. Or was I exasperated at Lexie...? Well, either way, it was the same thing.

**--**

**A/N: PLEASE review! The more you guys review, the more I'll write, and then the quicker that chapters get posted! **


	3. Chapter Two: Midnight Outings

**Hey! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! And Merry Christmas! **

** Argh, right now I don't have enough time to do any individual thanks, but I'll acknowledge all of you!**

**I love CHEESECAKE**

**Lauren321 **

** Joy**

**Xaien**

**imaredhead **

**cottonmouth**

**EW4eva**

**pyro-2389 **

**norbertthedragon **

- 

**Chapter Two: Midnight Outings**

**-**

I dug my spoon into my morning bowl of cereal and milk. Lifting up the spoon, I glanced over at the Gryffindor table yet again. I was truly pathetic. I was glancing over there every few seconds, waiting to see if Sirius Black had arrived for breakfast yet, even though I knew that he wouldn't be. It was six in the morning, for heaven's sake. Why would Sirius Black ruin his reputation for being "fashionably late" just so I could talk to him about our Transfiguration project?

I stayed in my seat while the Great Hall slowly filled up, though I was itching to get away.

'_Get a book out, at least, you dolt_,' Lexie advised with her usual contempt. '_Don't just stare at your empty bowl._'

With a start, I realized I _was_ staring at my empty bowl, and had been for several minutes. Hastily, I reached into my bag and pulled out the first book that met my searching fingers. Propping it open on the table, I let my hair fall in front of my face and made like I was studying.

The whole reason I was still at the Great Hall was because of Sirius Black. I needed to go and talk to him, but he wasn't here yet, and I couldn't get inside the Gryffindor common room. It made nothing better that I was nervous about whether or not he had recognized me in the Owlery….

I knew the moment Sirius entered the Great Hall. He and his best mate, James Potter, always had to make a grand entrance, no matter what. The sudden increase in the giggling, high-pitched laughter of the girls was the biggest hint. I looked up discreetly from my book, though I doubted anyone would notice me staring at the Marauders since they'd all be too busy staring as well.

Sirius was still rubbing sleep from his eyes, and he looked distinctly rumpled as if he'd been forcefully booted out of his bed. Even so, he looked good-looking and attractive. I'll bet he was the only one who could look disheveled and hot at the same time. He sat down at the Gryffindor table and started talking with his friends.

"To go or not to go. That is the question," I mumbled to myself.

'_Just go_,' Lexie sighed, exasperated. '_You've been waiting here for him to arrive, haven't you_?'

"Yes, but I don't really think…" I whispered.

'_Think what? That he'll listen to you? Well, you'll never know unless you try.'_

"Oh, all right," I muttered, stowing my book away into my bag. I sat in my seat for another moment and looked over at the Gryffindor table to make sure that Sirius didn't have a girl in his lap as he usually did. I didn't think I could just waltz over there and interrupt a snog session….

He didn't. Great. Now if I could just get my legs to take me there….

'_Just go already! Are you planning to wait until you're old and wrinkled_?' Lexie urged impatiently.

"All right!" I snapped back at her. "Keep your hair on!"

'_Don't wet your pants_,' Lexie sniped back. Why did she _always_ get the better of me?

Standing up and swinging my bag over my shoulder, I headed towards the Gryffindor table, trying to look as if this was a completely normal occurrence for me. As I neared them, I saw Black turning blue for some reason, but by the time I was close enough to talk to him, he was back to a normal skin color and joking with his friends.

"Um…Sirius?" I asked softly. He didn't turn around, so I steeled myself to tap him lightly on the shoulder.

"Sirius," I repeated, louder this time. He had turned around at my touch and was gazing at me intently with his dark eyes. For some reason, those eyes made the speech I had prepared inside my head fly away into oblivion.

'_Swallow_,' Lexie directed. '_Swallow, and then tell him about the project_.'

I swallowed. "About the Transfiguration project…" I was proud that my voice didn't shake, even if I didn't finish my sentence.

"Oh, right," he said, propping his head on his hand and looking at me, still with that intense gaze.

"When do you think we should start?" I asked, acutely aware of his eyes on me, as well as all his friends' as well.

"Why don't you meet me in the library today around eight and we can go from there?" he suggested.

James Potter snorted rudely. "Padfoot, since when do you _tell_ a girl to meet you at this or that time? Don't you have to ask when she has time? And I thought you were suave…" Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew both snorted into their porridge.

"Shut _up_, James," Sirius muttered out of the corner of his mouth and giving him a look. I was tempted to laugh at their antics, but I smoothed my face into an expressionless mask.

"Okay, so when you have time?" Sirius turned back to me to ask.

"Everyday," I shrugged. I wasn't a prefect, so I didn't have any duties. I didn't have any friends, so I didn't have any plans with anyone.

"Then how about tonight at eight?" Sirius suggested. "Library?"

"Sure…" I trailed off as a pretty, petite girl came up to Sirius, pressing herself against him like a cat. She even looked ready to purr. Gross.

"Oh, Siri-poo, when do you have time for another date? I really enjoyed our last one," the girl cooed, twining her arm into his. Sirius's face was in a state of frozen shock, and I was sure there was a bit of horror mixed in as well, judging from his gaping mouth. But then again, I'm not good at reading people's faces. Why would Sirius Black be horrified at having a girl practically drooling all over him? He was a womanizer, after all.

Just then, I realized I was staring at them with my eyes practically popping out of my head. I had to get out of here. I did _not_ want to stay and watch Sirius neck with some girl.

"Okay… well, see you later," I hastened to say. Then I turned away and quickly hurried out of the hall, desperate to spend some time recuperating in the bathroom.

'_Well, that went better than I thought it would_,' Lexie remarked casually.

"Yeah, I guess," I gave grudgingly. "But now I have to start hoping that I'll live through tonight."

Now that I was dreading the oncoming of night, the day passed even more quickly than usual. It seemed as if one moment I was walking into my first class of the day, and the next I was back in my Ravenclaw dormitory, watching the clock tick closer and closer to eight.

It was now five minutes to eight.

"Lexie, what am I going to do?" I panicked. "I don't know what I'm going to do! I mean, all the other projects didn't require much interaction with other people! I can't take this! I'm not strong enough for this!"

'_Pull yourself together_,' Lexie ordered sharply. '_It's only a little school project! You'll live_!'

"But this is Sirius Black we're talking about!" I hissed.

'_So what? He's a person, just like everyone else you've ever worked on a project with! Now get your tie and get going_!' Lexie ordered.

I hurried to my dresser and rummaged around, looking for my special, good-luck socks that I had painted all over with winking faces. I had even spelled them to move. It always gave me a sense of security, for some reason.

'_Sense of security, my ass. You just like seeing faces winking at you whenever you look at your legs. Why don't you get your raven-covered tie while you're at it_?' Lexie said sarcastically.

"No!" I snapped, pulling on my socks. "I'm going to wear my crow-covered tie, and that's that!"

'_Stop being an idiot and just wear the raven one! You know it looks better anyway!'_

"It does not! The crow one has a much better pattern! See!" I held up the white tie covered with crows up to my face.

'_I see it already! You know what, whatever! They're the same_!' Lexie sneered.

"They are not the same!" I cried. "Look at _this_—!"

'_And now you're late_.'

Startled, I jerked my head up to look at the time. Holy shit—I was ten minutes late already!

"It's all your fault!" I snarled at Lexie, grabbing the nearest tie, looping it around my shoulders to make up properly later, jamming my feet into my trainers, and taking off down the stairs.

'_See, this is what happens when you argue with me. Why don't you ever just listen to what I say_?' Lexie asked smugly.

I decided the best thing to do was to ignore her. I practically flew down the hallways, skidding around corners. As I neared the library, I slowed down and did my tie while still half-running. I didn't want to arrive all disheveled and give the wrong impression of where I'd been. As soon as I rounded the corner, I saw Sirius Black pacing back and forth along in front of the door to the library. Feeling a twinge of guilt, I jogged up to him.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I panted, a bit out of breath. He turned around, and I was amazed to see relief and concern mixed into his expression.

"Did something happen?" he asked, his tone sounding sincerely worried. "Are you sick? Do you have a fever? Did you not get done with your homework? Did a dirty Slytherin attack you while you were on the way here?"

I was taken aback by this sudden onslaught of words. Sirius's mouth was moving so fast, and the rest of his words sounded like unintelligible ramblings of a madman at an asylum.

"But…" I tried to hedge in.

"Did you get hurt? I was waiting here for hours! You're all disheveled…" he continued without a break.

"I'm not…" I tried again.

"I should have waited outside the Ravenclaw room instead of having you come here all by yourself…"

"Sirius, I'm fine…" I tried yet again. It didn't work. He kept on ranting on about heaven knows what, using wild gesticulations. But then, all of a sudden, he stopped midword and merely stared at me.

Disconcerted by his direct gaze, I shifted uneasily, and flattened my hair with my hand. "I'm fine. Nothing would happen to me if I didn't want it to happen."

Okay… now Sirius was turning a very alarming red color.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. He shook his head yes very quickly, even though his face turned even redder. I hadn't thought that that was possible. "Why don't you start with breathing?"

'_You bonehead_!' Lexie cried. '_Why wouldn't he be breathing_?'

"I don't know," I muttered. "Maybe…"

'_Maybe because he's so struck dumb by the sight of your beauteous face that he forgot_?' Lexie snorted. '_Please. Just get over yourself_.'

"I've been over myself for a long time," I snapped at her rebelliously.

'_Whatever you say_,' Lexie said cryptically.

"Um… Alexis?" Sirius asked. I turned back to him questioningly to find that he had regained a normal color and was looking at me weirdly again. Shit. I really had to stop talking to Lexie when other people were around.

"Yeah?" I asked, pretending that nothing was out of the ordinary and turning back to face him with a smile on my face.

"Uh… why don't we get started?" he said hastily for some reason. Shrugging to myself, I fell in step with him and began walking through the halls.

And here's the part where I strike up and keep up a brilliant, witty conversation in which I crack many funny jokes while Sirius laughs at them uproariously.

'_Only in your wildest dreams_,' Lexie said.

She was right—no, _I_ was right. That makes so much sense. Anyway, the silence between Sirius and I got so pressing and suffocating, and I could practically taste the tension in the air. Our footsteps were too loud in the echoing hallways, and even my breathing was booming in my ears. Oh, why didn't Sirius say something? He was renowned for being a lighthearted joker, a funny guy, but right now I wasn't seeing any signs indicative of that. Gulping down a ball of fear, I tried to make my mouth blurt out anything, anything at all to break the silence between us.

"So… the sky's blue, huh!" my mouth finally worked out, blurting out the first thing that came to mind.

'_And once again, I must applaud you on your unsurpassed idiocy_,' Lexie muttered, slapping her head.

"Yeah," Sirius replied, to my surprise. "Never noticed it before, right? And are you okay? You just slapped your forehead."

Damn Lexie for making me do all those things. "Uh… I'm fine."

Another long silence stretched after that while we walked through the almost empty hallways. The quiet was so bad that my left eye started twitching, something that always happened whenever I got nervous. I just had to say something more! What did people talk about all the time? Secrets? No, that was between friends. Makeup? No, guys didn't do that. Food? That seemed kind of awkward, talking about ham…. My life? No, that was too presumptuous.

'Think… think, Alex, think!' I instructed myself silently.

'_Don't hurt yourself_,' Lexie snickered.

Anything… anything…. What did I do to start our last conversation? I had talked about the sky… _that was it_! The weather! Everybody talked about the weather!

"Um… isn't the weather today just peachy?" I stuttered. "The bright sun, the cloudless sky, the warm sunshine, the… the…" I furiously wracked my brains for something more to say about the weather.

"…And it's not too hot and not too cold," Sirius finished up for me, to my relief. "I'm surprised you remembered all the details of the day. It's already several hours into the night."

'_I don't think calling you an idiot is enough anymore_,' Lexie sighed.

"Oy! You there! Yes, I'm talking to you, Ellison! You'd better stop right there!"

For once, I was immensely glad for the distraction of one of my knight friends who was stationed at the corner that Sirius and I had just passed. At the sound of the knight's voice, Sirius had jerked around and was now eyeing the hallway as if a lethal pair of scissors was going to slice through the walls and cut him in half. This particular knight who had saved me from the silence was Sir Cairbre.

"Who, me?" I asked, opening my eyes very wide and darting a confused look at Sirius and a questioning look towards Sir Cairbre. Sirius wasn't even looking at me; he was glowering at the knight with suspicion in his eyes.

"Don't try acting all innocent with me, you scruffy ruffian!" the knight roared, rearing up with its joints creaking, cracking, and screeching.

I winced. "You really need to get those old joints oiled."

"I do not! I am in perfect condition! Now get your cowardly carcass right back here, and fight me like an honorable woman would! All those tricks from behind… you take advantage of a good knight like me!" Sir Cairbre clanked.

"I honestly have no idea what the knight is talking about," I said to Sirius confidentially as we walked closer.

"Now, prepare to be decapitated!" Sir Cairbre roared, and with what was supposed to be a grand, graceful, and impressive flourish, he drew his sword. Actually, _tried_ to draw it was more like it. Sir Cairbre's rusty joints screeched horribly as he attempted to pull the rusty sword out of its equally rusty scabbard. With a final clumsy lunge, the knight dropped the heavy, unwieldy sword on the ground with a thump.

"Oh, would you get that for me, Alex?" Sir Cairbre panted. "I'm afraid my old age is finally catching up."

"No problem," I answered, picking up the sword and bracing it against my knee to lift it up high enough to give to the knight. "Here you go. Next time I come around I'll have to get some oil for your joints."

"If you could do that, it'd be wonderful!" he cried. "It would be no trouble to you?"

"None at all," I replied promptly.

"Thank you!" Sir Cairbre said heartily. "So, where were we?"

"Oh, right at the part where you were supposed to chop off my head," I supplied helpfully.

"Right!"—he cleared his throat—"Off with your head, you yellow-bellied, no-good scallywag!" Sir Cairbre reared back once more and took a mighty hack at my neck, which I ducked easily. Grinning, I moved out of range of the knight, who was swinging his sword around wildly.

"You'll have to be faster than that, you old man," I chuckled. Then I noticed that Sirius was on the ground under Sir Cairbre's wild swings, looking distinctly amazed and dazed.

"Aha! You cur! Trying to sneak up under me?" Sir Cairbre roared, spotting Sirius. "I'll give you something to sneak up on!" Oh, God! Sir Cairbre wasn't going to be that stupid as to break a rule of our game… actually, he was.

Lunging forward—I did not want to be witness to a gruesome murder, and not to mention all those Sirius fanclubs would be after my blood for getting him into danger—I got a hold on one of Sirius's feet. Digging my heels into the floor, I pulled with all my might, managing to drag Sirius away from the deadly sword just as it went crunching into the ground with an ominous clunk.

"Sir Cairbre," I said sternly, moving to stand in front of the knight. I put my hands on my hips. "What did I tell you about the rules of our game?"

"Huh?" the knight jerked. "What rules?"

"You _know_," I asserted.

"What?" he asked, adjusting his visor. "Making sure that there are no witnesses?"

"No… but that is very important," I conceded.

"Getting rid of all witnesses?" Sir Cairbre suggested thoughtfully.

"Good one. Never thought of that…" I agreed, nodding. "But no," I added hastily.

"Polishing my armor before the kill?"

"Throw in oiling your joints, too," I said.

"Oh, yes, thank you for reminding me," the knight nodded, the plume on his visor bobbing.

"And you probably want to incorporate some more flourishes," I continued critically. "Your swings do have the right kind of wildness, but you have to finish with grace and sophistication."

"Thank you so very much for those pointers, Alex," Sir Cairbre thanked me profusely. "I don't know what I'd do without them. Oh, and what do you think of my overhead hack? I know it packs a lot of power, but I was wondering if you could help me brush up on the finish." With a rusty arm, he indicated the still-quivering sword that had its head dug into the carpet.

"Oh!" I slapped my forehead. "Stop trying to lead me off topic! Now, we were talking about the rules of our game."

"Fine," Sir Cairbre snapped. "Don't help me on my overhead hack."

"Sir Cairbre," I said warningly. "You know what this means."

"You'll help me?" he clanked.

"No. I'm going to have to dismember you," I answered matter-of-factly, putting a hand inside my pocket to get my wand.

"Dismember me?" he cried. "You wouldn't'!"

"Care to try me?" I smiled.

"I don't care," the knight sniffed, regaining his pride. "I can still find someone to put me back together.

"Then I'll just have to take your plume," I shrugged carelessly.

"WHAT?" he bellowed. The sound vibrated inside his hollow armor for a long time after he finished.

"Go on," I commanded, enjoying the sense of power that this was giving me.

"Oh… all right. I'm quite sorry, young man," the knight apologized contritely. "I just got caught up in the moment. Do forgive me."

I looked back at Sirius, who was rubbing his neck and head as if making sure they were still there and staring at us.

"Sirius?" I prompted.

"Wha—?" he jumped. "Oh… right. Yeah. Forgiven. Really."

"Thank you, young man. You must really thank Alex—she saved your life!" Sir Cairbre advised. "But beware: she is more of a dangerous wench than you think."

"Uh… yeah, I'll keep that in mind," Sirius muttered. I rolled my eyes and gave Sir Cairbre a good smack on his metal stomach, making his hollow insides echo.

"Ellison!" the knight whined. "You know I hate it when you do that! I vibrate for so long!"

"Really?" I asked sweetly. "I didn't know that. I'll keep that in mind, though!"

"Wench," Sir Cairbre muttered.

"Mongrel," I returned nastily before gesturing for Sirius. "Let's go. We still have to find Delaney." Sirius had his mouth hanging slightly open, and he seemed very unsure of himself.

And then yet _another_ silence stretched between us. I sighed. When would this end? My wish was granted when… Sirius started laughing. Laughing. Yes, right out of the blue.

"Sirius…?" I asked softly.

Then he lost it. It looked really painful for him; he was rolling around on the ground in what looked like death throes. Great peals of laughter came tearing out of his throat, and tears even started streaming out of his eyes. Slightly worried, I knelt by him and tried shaking his shoulder. Was laughing this hard considered a normal occurrence? What if he had to go to the hospital wing?

"Are you okay?" I asked. "Stop laughing! What's so funny?"

"Y-you!" he gasped out, taking in a huge breath and expelling it in yet another loud burst of laughter.

"What? Me?" I sat back, feeling embarrassed. "What did I do?"

"You… suits of… armor… funny…" Sirius gasped out. "J-just… YOU!" Then he burst out into uncontrolled fits of hysterical laughter. Watching him laugh at me was just too funny, especially since he was writhing around like he was in serious pain. Against my will, a tiny giggle escaped my lips, and then I started laughing along with him.

We were fountains of hilarity, shooting out bursts of laughter at random intervals. I laughed so hard that my eyes started watering, my stomach got sore, and my cheeks cramped from smiling so hard. I wasn't used to this! I had never laughed with such wild abandon before. Truth to tell, it felt so refreshing, so _new_.

"Hehe… are you done yet?" Sirius gasped weakly after some time.

"Are _you_?" I retorted.

"Quite," he said promptly, sitting up and winching. "That was some heavy-duty stuff."

"_Quite_," I echoed his words, smiling.

"Okay, back to business," he said, a little hurriedly. Curious as to why he was suddenly so flustered, I cocked my head and examined him closely.

"We should really g-get back to looking for Del—what?" he said, catching my look.

"Oh, nothing," I ducked my head down in embarrassment. "So, uh, why don't we try looking for her in her classroom?"

"Brilliant!" Sirius cried.

'_Not_,' Lexie contradicted. '_You guys should have done that from the beginning_.'

I smiled tentatively while my sore cheeks screamed in protest. "Well, let's go then."

I shakily stood up. Ouch. My stomach was in loads of pain because of the exertion I had put it through.

"Ah… I don't feel like walking all the way up to the North Tower," Sirius complained, knuckling his back. "And it's so late, too. I think we should just go back."

"No!" I cried. "We wasted so much time! We have to at least make some headway on this tonight."

"Fine," he sighed. "Let's see…. Since it only ten right now, we can spend another two hours—"

"WHAT?" I screeched in surprise. "It's ten already! Ten o'clock? PM!"

"Yeah," he replied slowly. "We've been walking around for a pretty long time."

"No!" I shouted in panic. "It's almost the end of curfew! We can't be caught this late! I have to get back to my dorm! _I'll get in trouble_!"

"Don't be daft," Sirius chided nonchalantly. "Stop worrying. Come on, being caught out after curfew's no biggie."

"_Yes, it is_!" I hissed through gritted teeth, fighting the urge to run as fast as I could back to the Ravenclaw dormitories. "I'll get told off by a teacher, and then I'll get detention, and another one, and another one, and another one…. And then I'll get suspended! Again, and again, and again, and again, and again…"—by this time I was pacing around in agitation, gesturing wildly with my hands—"_and then I'll get expelled, again and again, and again, and AGAIN_! Don't tell me 'it's no biggie!'"

"How can you get expelled over and over again?" Sirius mused.

"This is no time for silly questions!" I yelled. "I have to get out of here before I get it! Oh my God, expelled!"

"Would you stop yammering about getting expelled?" Sirius scoffed. "You're not going to get expelled from getting one lousy detention. And I bet you've never even _had_ a detention before."

"I haven't!" I confirmed. "It makes everything worse! It'll tarnish my perfect, clean record!"

"You don't need a perfect record," Sirius told me.

"You only say that because you want to be the record for getting the most detentions!" I snapped.

"Stop worrying. I won't let us get caught," he assured me. "Come on. We still have to climb those blasted stairs up to the North Tower."

"No!" I cried. "I have to get back to the dorm!"

"But I thought you wanted to make some headway on this project," Sirius chirped in a singsong voice.

"I do!" I gasped. This was so painful! I was caught between my two greatest fears: getting into trouble and getting a failing grade. Even though I wasn't the best kid, I had never gotten into any trouble, and even though I wasn't the smartest student, I had never gotten a D before. And I couldn't even imagine getting a T! These thoughts repelled me.

"Come on. I promise I won't get you into trouble," Sirius's voice brought me down to the present world and away from my furiously battling emotions.

'_Just do it_," Lexie snorted. '_You never get enough excitement in your pathetic life anyways. Goodness knows I need something other than playing games with suits of armors_!'

"Fine," I expelled my breath, closing my eyes in horror that I was actually doing this. Me! Alexis Ellison!

"You look as if lightning's going to come down and strike you on the spot," Sirius commented.

"Is it over yet?" I gritted out between my clenched teeth. "I can't look. Am I a pile of ashes yet? Strange, it doesn't hurt to be struck by lightning…"

"Yes, you are now a pile of ashes," he chuckled.

"This is not time to be horsing around!" I cried, my eyes flying open. "I'm in a very dire situation right now! And I'll have you know—hey! I'm not a pile of ashes!"

"Let's just get going," Sirius said, grabbing my hand and heading towards the North Tower. I stiffened. He was _holding_ my _hand_. I jerked my hand out of his grip, ignoring his confused look back at me, and instead concentrated on stepping as lightly as possible. What if some teacher heard our footsteps? What if they came to investigate? What if they found us? What if they gave me a detention? What if they suspended me? What if—

'_Stop thinking_,' Lexie advised. '_Yeesh, you're not the brightest crayon in the box, are you?_'

"No, I'm not," I agreed sadly. "I think I'm probably one of the darker ones, like brown or gray or something."

'_You're not getting this_,' Lexie sighed.

"I think I like gray better… no, but brown also brings me to mind very well as well… oh, but gray is really fitting…. Oh, oh, oh! I know I'll be brown-gray! No, wait… _gray-brown_!" I cried.

'_Oh—my—God_—' Lexie groaned.

"What?" I asked. Lexie was being unaccountably weird again.

"Um… Alex? Who are you talking to?" Sirius interrupted my conversation.

"Oh, no one," I answered, whipping back to attention. We reached the spiral staircase that lead up to Delaney's classroom. "Just Lexie, that's all."

"Lexie?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, no… no… I wasn't talking to anyone," I hurriedly corrected.

'_Usually I'd say that you're book smart, but not street smart. However, in your case, well… you're neither_,' Lexie said.

"You're one weird egg," Sirious shrugged.

I let out a breath of relief when it became obvious that he wasn't going to question me further about Lexie.

'_We really have to work on your lying skills_,' Lexie commented.

'_Shut up_,' I thought back at her.

'_Ah, you've finally figured out not to speak out loud_?' she retorted nastily.

I ignored her and concentrated on getting up the staircase without any mishaps. Staircases always scared me; they were evil things, both going up and going down. What if I tripped going up? Then I'd fall flat on my face and have the edges of the stairs cut into me. Oh, and I'd also be stampeded by the normal herd of students that usually filled the halls. And then if I tripped while going _down_ the stairs… well, then I'd fall to my death, and _then_ be stampeded by other students.

By the time I reached the end of the staircase leading up to the North Tower, my legs were shaking with exhaustion and I was breathing hard. I darted a sideways glance at Sirius; he seemed completely at ease and not in the least overworked.

Mental note: work out more often.

"Okay, now we just need to get up the trapdoor," Sirius mumbled, walking towards the center of the bare room and looking up expectantly while I was still catching my breath back. Once I saw the silver ladder come down out of a trapdoor, I nearly took out my wand and blew it to smithereens. Except, of course, it was hard for me to move since I had a horrible stitch in my side. Stupid stairs.

"Ladies first," Sirius indicated for me to go first with a charming smile. I hated that smile. It was bringing me closer to those horrible ladder rungs that would kill off what was left of my legs….

"In that case, I really couldn't deny you your privilege," I wheezed out. Sirius stared at me for a second, and to my surprise, he didn't say anything more. In fact, he climbed up the ladder!

Okay…

I thought that all males would defend their manhood to death—but then again, I'm not really the sociable type, so I wouldn't really know.

Just I was reluctantly putting my feet onto the first rung of the ladder, I heard Sirius breathe out in an amazed, almost scared voice, "_Holy shit_."

"What?" I asked concernedly. Had Delaney been murdered? Well, I really couldn't blame the murderer….

"Come look," he whispered down to me. With great difficulty, I climbed up the ladder the rest of the way and squeezed in right next to Sirius. His broad shoulders squashed me painfully into the side of the trapdoor.

"Is there any way for you to be less _big_?" I grunted.

There was no answer. I looked up at Sirius, who still had his eyes glued to something taking place inside the classroom. Curious, I turned towards the direction at which he was staring.

Bloody.

Hell.

What.

The.

**BEEP**

-

**Ehehe, how'd you like the cliffhanger? Lol!**

**  
AND PLEASE a REVIEW! **


	4. Chapter Three: Randomness

**SUMMARY: Perhaps the best way to gain your interest is to state straight off that I'm a loser. Or maybe I should say that I'm a wonderful girl, and this is a swashbuckling story. Ah, I was never good at writing blurbs. Let's just stick with the fact that I was perfectly happy until HE came strutting along and crashed my life.**

**DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the setting and everything that you see in the Harry Potter books. Thanks to Rowling for a brilliant world to write of. However, I do own a few original characters and ideas. If anything in here seems related to another story/fanfic, sorry! It's really not.**

**A/N: Um... about this... Hehe. I'm sorry it took so long. As I said (in my profile) this story is more of a distraction from Hidden Flames, so updates might be very infrequent. So... how many of you are still with me on this? xD **

**-- **

**---Chapter Three: Randomness---**

**-- **

"_What is she doing_?" Sirius choked out. I had the impression that the extreme shock of finding Delaney in that sort of position had rendered him incapable of swearing.

Even though I was very—_very_—startled myself, I somehow managed to pull my disturbed mind back together again.

"Um… I guess she's… well… dancing," I finished lamely.

"I know _that_!" he replied impatiently. "But in _a turban? And boxers? _Of all things?"

I turned back to survey the scene. Yes, Professor Delaney was indeed sporting a large pink turban and wearing something akin to _boxers_…. To make things worse, three, large, astoundingly hot pink monkeys followed every step she took. The room was curtained—not that it wasn't like that usually—and numerous, heavily scented candles. And in the middle of the round table (all the other tables had been cleared away to, presumably, make a dancing floor) was a huge crystal ball. No, this wasn't just an ordinary crystal ball; this one was bigger than two heads, and a dark green mist swirled around in its murky depths.

"Oh, Lord of Sight, Lord of the Future, Lord Crystal Ball!" Delaney cried out dramatically, panting a bit for breath.

Sirius and I exchanged a glance… and then we both simultaneously fought to get down the ladder. Crazy, insane, unstoppable laughter was bubbling up in me, and I snorted—quite embarrassing, really—before collapsing on the ground in fits of silent laughter.

"Oh, Lord of Sight, Lord of the Future, Lord Crystal Ball!" I heard Delaney cry once again. "Please show me the way! Grant me the Eye! Let me see past the mundane of the present!"

By this time my stomach felt as if there was a large rip in it, and I was gasping for breath. My eyes were tearing quite badly. My efforts not to howl with laughter also cost me dearly; I continually snorted for breath.

Delaney… doing a ritual dance in honor of the _Lord Crystal Ball_? Blimey, people were all insane.

"Oooohhm!" Delaney's voice floated down to me in a series of grunts. "Ohm mo-mum maaa! Ooohm!"

Ah… my poor abused cheeks, stomach, and lungs. They were screaming at me to stop the torture.

After quite a while of unthinkable and exhausting laughter, I squeezed my hands over my ears in an effort to stop my giggles. My stomach hurt like hell and I could barely breathe in between guffaws. I glanced over at Sirius, who was in no better condition. In fact, he couldn't even seem to restrain himself, and he was rolling over, turning so red that if I didn't know better, I'd say he were constipating.

Just when I thought I'd calmed down…

"Chook a locka chook a locka chook chook chook!"

That set me off again, and I fell backwards, rolling on the ground in much the same fashion as Sirius was doing. I lost myself in the hilarity of this whole situation—Delaney dancing away at some cult tradition she'd developed… she'd finally snapped… Sirius looked ready to combust… _pink monkeys_ for heaven's sake! To top it all off, _this_ was what McGonagall wanted us to take for an example!

Oh, Merlin, nothing was right in the world!

A sudden clatter from above brought an end to my fits of laughter. Alarm bells went off in my head as I sat up quickly and exchanged a frightened glance with a very disheveled Sirius. A second later, he grabbed my wrist and hauled me off the floor, dragging me off to who knows where.

It turned out that I didn't have very far to go. He found—very quickly, I might add—a little niche in the wall partially covered by a tapestry. Picking up on the uptake, I eagerly darted into the niche and squeezed myself as far back as I could fit.

Which—I realized too late—left no room for Sirius.

He swore as we heard Delaney descending from the ladder.

"Sorry about this," he whispered before squeezing into the niche and tugging the tapestry back until it covered us. His back was pressed against the hands I had raised to keep him away from me, and I could feel his body heat through his robes. Recoiling rather hastily, I pushed myself even deeper until my shoulders would let me go no further.

"Stop moving around," Sirius whispered.

I obeyed, and concentrated instead on Delaney's voice. I could still feel his blasted body heat! If only I didn't know that Sirius was a very, very cute guy, who was currently only inches away from me….

Oh, you dirty, dirty girl.

"Yes, Loop-loop. That was a very successful one. I'm sure Lord Crystal Ball will be very pleased. He will show the way!" Delaney cried in a mystical voice. She was speaking to… one of the hot pink monkeys….

Dear Lord. Help this teacher.

I could feel Sirius's shoulders start to shake. Against my will—mine started shaking as well.

Damn you, contagious laughter!

"Yes… the clairvoyant vibes… they are getting stronger. My Sight…! It has returned in full force!" Here I heard the shuffling of feet and dramatic swishing of cloth. "I See! I can See! And I See… that my Lord Crystal Ball will be pleased if we should present ourselves to him thus arrayed next Tuesday night!"

Delaney sighed dramatically, and then her footsteps—along with three other pitter-pattering ones—retreated to another room.

After a moment of silence, I couldn't take it anymore. My laughter exploded out of me in a disgusting snort, and my stomach, which had not quite recovered yet, was once again bombarded with heaving guffaws. A moment later, Sirius cracked up as well, and he pulled himself—laughing all the while—out of the niche. My crazed mind tried to order my own body to do the same, but to my horror, my shoulders would not budge.

My laughter died as realized that I might be spending the rest of my life in this little niche… and all because my shoulders were too fat! I could just see my life flashing before my eyes… not that there was much to see, but _still_!

Sirius, that idiot, was still in fits on the ground, and I waited a bit impatiently for him to notice that I was stuck. Yes, stuck. When he still showed no signs of stopping, I cleared my throat roughly.

More laughter.

I pursed my lips and said, "Sirius!"

Ignore, ignore. He was ignoring me!

"Sirius!" I hissed. "A little help here would be nice!"

He merely looked at me and laughed harder. "You—you're stuck!" he gasped out. "And… and D-Delaney…"

Trying to get a guy intoxicated with laughter to help is not an easy thing, but I—thanks to my astounding skills of persuasion—managed to accomplish it.

"Ouch!" I cried, as Sirius tugged on my arm hard enough to jerk it out of the sockets. "Do you have to be so rough?"

"I know what to do!" he said, ignoring my comment. "We'll use a lubricant!"

"Are you sure?" I asked him, doubtful of his plan. "I mean… it's kind of weird, isn't it?"

He waved me off. "People discredit weird ideas too much," he said sagely as he fumbled around for his wand.

"Okay!" Sirius said, taking out his wand and aiming at my face. I felt my heart miss a beat; this was actually a very dangerous position to be in, stuck in a niche with a wand pointing straight at my face.

He mumbled some sort of nonsense spell—I'm still sure that he made up that spell on the spot—and _something_ shot out at me. Something that was thick, white, and disgustingly fluffy.

Unfortunately, he was very generous with this substance, and soon my whole face and body was covered in a thick coat. Some of it even forced its way into my mouth.

"_Whipped cream_?" I spluttered as soon as my taste buds started working. "Whipped cream! Is this your stupid lubricant-y solution to my predicament?"

"No, it was actually supposed oil," he commented, scratching his head. And then he shrugged! He actually had the nerve to shrug at me!

"Hey, but maybe the whipped cream will work," he remarked cheerfully, taking a hold of my already abused arm.

Sirius gave one mighty tug—and my arm came out of the crevice. I tumbled onto him clumsily, and to my satisfaction, the whipped cream all over my front was smeared all over him as well.

"Well," I said, sitting up and smiling. "That was… interesting." I spat some whip cream out of my mouth.

"Could you refrain from spitting that onto my face?" Sirius grumbled from beneath me.

"I—" I started. Then I broke off as it clicked.

He grumbled from beneath me. _Beneath_ me! So that must mean… that I was on him! And I was sitting up… so that meant I was _straddling_ him! And… and to top it off… we were covered in _whip cream!_

The horrifying implications sunk into my mind with the speed of… of… hell, I don't know! All I knew was that my face had heated off very quickly, so I was thankful of the thin layer of whip cream hiding my cheeks.

"Oh my God!" I whispered frantically, scrambling off of him. In the process, I must have stepped on places that shouldn't be stepped on, for his groans of pain were very heartfelt indeed.

"I'm sorry," I apologized as soon as I reached the other side of the room. "Are you okay?"

"Sure…" he said. I could tell he was grimacing. "I'm pretty sure that you ruined my chances of becoming a father, though…"

_Ew_. Whoa, that brought too mind too many vulgar and indecent images!

I was sure the whip cream wouldn't be able to hide my red face.

"Are you going to help me or not?" he asked irritably.

Helping him meant going near him and touching him! I squeaked and covered my face with my hands.

"_No_!"

"Wha—oh," he said, his tone taking on a knowing edge. "So _that's_ why…"

I wasn't sure if my face could get any redder. "No… it's just… I'm… uh…"

"Not well endowed?" he asked knowingly.

It took my mind a moment to interpret the real meaning to that, and then my jaw dropped and I stared at him in horror and indignation.

"That's okay," he continued, grinning rakishly. "We can still do the deed. I heard from some very reliable sources that whip cream makes _anything_ good."

I had never been so embarrassed in my whole, entire, miserable existence. I couldn't think of anything to say to that… he didn't actually mean it did he? Oh—God, the dirtiness! I wanted to slap myself silly. I searched around in my mind for anything to say, and came up with nothing.

So I decided to bolt—get away from here, run as far away from him and embarrassment as possible. But my legs just couldn't move fast enough. He must have seen me getting ready to flee, for he was up and caught me around the shoulders. I recoiled, and I was sure my face got even redder! I quickly broke away from him, and looked down at the ground, my shoulders hunched.

"Hey, where're you going?" he grunted.

I stared at an irregularity on the stone, wishing that I could just melt. Even my ears felt freaking hot!

"Look, I'm sorry. I guess you're not used to hearing things like that…" he trailed off, and I could hear him shifting uncomfortably. My hair, with clumps of whip cream and all, was blocking him from my sight.

I nodded at him wordlessly, my mind still to incomprehensive to make my mouth form words.

"So… uh… you're okay now?"

I nodded again.

"Okay… now what?"

I shrugged my hunched shoulders.

"You want to go now?" Sirius continued probing.

I nodded.

"Oh, this is ridiculous!" he said in frustration. He pulled out his wand, and for one frightening moment I was sure that he was going to Stun me, but instead he just muttered, "_Scourgify_!"

And soon I was free of whip cream. "Thanks," I whispered.

There was a moment of silence, and then I heard him huff loudly. I cringed. He was probably realizing how much of an immature dork I was now…. And there wasn't even the whip cream to hide my red cheeks.

Sirius surprised me once again—I don't know how many more surprises I can take—by grabbing my hand (why wouldn't he stop that?) and pulling me out of the room and down the frightening flight of stairs of the North Tower.

I stumbled along after him, barely able to keep my shaking legs from collapsing under me.

"I've got to get you back to your common room before you faint on me," he said over the shoulder. I glared at his head indignantly, but didn't comment. Because, in truth, fainting was what I felt like doing. Merlin, how sad is that?

After I returned my gaze to my feet to watch my step, I hazily followed Sirius, not even wondering if he would leave me alone at some weird part of the castle, where I'd spend the rest of my life, and be picked apart by house elves (the pictures I've seen of them are really disturbing).

"We're here," Sirius announced, pushing me forward slightly. Then I registered that I was in front of the Ravenclaw common room. I glanced at him, surprised he knew where it was.

"Don't you want to get in quickly, so no one will find you and expel you 'over and over again?'" he asked, a grin turning up the corners of his mouth.

He had the nerve to mock me and look adorable while doing it! I huffed angrily at him and crossed my arms, waiting for him to leave. I wasn't about to be stupid and give the password in his hearing range! He'd probably sneak in and steal bras or pantyhose or something of the like.

Sirius seemed to get my point (smart boy, that one), and his smile deepened as he turned around and strolled away like he had all the time in the world. Then I entered the common room, relieved to find it empty.

I trudged up to my dorm and changed into my PJ's. When I finally fell into bed, I realized that we hadn't gotten anything done on our project! Damn him…. Though I felt strangely happy. For some unknown reason. This was the first time I'd had fun with—another person. And wow, that was truly amazing. Sirius's rakish grin floated back into my mind, and I unconsciously smiled into my pillow.

'_Hey, you_,' Lexie said.

"Yeah?" I asked.

'_I think you've made some progress today_.'

"What do you mean?" I asked.

'_Figure it out yourself_.' She hushed again and retreated. Satisfied with that, I groped around my bed until I felt Mr. Poo and Kuzco. Once I had them gathered safely in my arms, I lay my cheek against Mr. Poo's fur, trying not to think back on how embarrassing the whip cream incident was.

ll----ll

I yawned tiredly over my bowl of cereal during breakfast. Last night, after nearly an hour of twisting and turning restlessly on my bed, I had gotten to sleep a little after three.

And whose fault was that?

Sirius's!

He'd made me stay up that long and witness an undeniably comical Delaney show! And he'd made me incredibly nervous. Plus the fact that I kept on reliving every moment I spent in his company…

Merlin, I didn't like what was happening to me.

I rubbed my eyes with both hands hard enough to make my vision blacken once I opened them again. Taking a deep breath, I stole a quick glance over at the Gryffindor table, searching for Sirius. And sure enough, he was sitting at the end of the table, talking with his friends and looking cutely disheveled.

'_Looking for Sirius_?' Lexie snickered.

"No," I muttered. I stuck my spoon into my cereal and shoved some food into my mouth.

'_Right_…'

That was all it took to put me in a bad mood. I pushed my bowl away angrily and got to my feet, preparing to exit the Great Hall in a grand style, just to spite Lexie. Though I wasn't quite sure how exiting grandly would do that…

"Alexis!" I faintly heard someone call. Hm… there must be so many Alexis's in this school.

Then someone grabbed my arm. Squeaking in fright, I whirled around and repeatedly thwacked my attacker hard with my book bag until I got a good look at his face.

"Oops," was the only thing that came out of my mouth as I stopped hitting Sirius.

"It's like no one's ever touched you before," he grumbled.

'_If he only knew,_' Lexie snickered.

"Uh… is there something you needed?" I squeaked out rather embarrassingly.

"I just wanted to ask you about the Transfiguration project."

I wrinkled my nose and shook my head helplessly. As my head turned slightly, I caught a glimpse of several Gryffindor girls glaring at me hatefully. Quite taken aback, I quickly averted my gaze. I could still feel their stares burning into my back with the force of a thousand suns.

Why were people suddenly staring at me?

"Uh… I don't know…" I muttered, ducking my head down and shuffling my feet nervously. Whether it was from the stares or talking to Sirius, I don't know. "Listen… I have to—go—over—there."

I pointed in some random direction and walked away, too afraid to even glance at his face.

'_That was a great exit_.' As usual, Lexie could never just stay out of the picture.

"Could you stop doing that?" I snapped. "Just leave me alone."

'_Don't get short with me, Alex. Remember you're the one who needs me, not the other way around_,' she retorted haughtily.

"Whatever," I snorted.

It was time to immerse myself in yet another cheesy romance novel. But the ruthless bell cut my time in my sanctuary in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom short. I got to my feet, feeling a twinge of anxiety—I had Transfiguration next. Which meant I had to face Sirius.

Moaning, I rammed my head against the stall of the bathroom.

"Why—am I so stupid? Why—am I so stupid?" I muttered, punctuating each "why" with a bang.

'_Just get to class. Or would you prefer to get expelled over and over again for being late?_' Lexie asked with a mocking edge in her voice.

"But I have Transfiguration! I don't want to face him," I whined.

'_Get to class, slacker_.'

There's no sympathy for anyone these days.

I did as Lexie ordered and got my butt to class. Amazingly, there were several people in the class before me! What the hell… I must be getting senile. I'm always supposed to be first in the classroom….

Settling myself in my usual seat in the back, I grumpily slouched forward to bury my head in my arms. McGonagall would probably make us work on our projects today, and I didn't know what I'd say to Sirius! It was just too awkward, too embarrassing….

Professor McGonagall rapped on her desk, and I reluctantly lifted my head up to glare at her.

"Settle down, settle down!" she ordered. "It's been a week since I assigned the improvement program, and I expect that all of you have at least gotten started. I will give you the whole class period to discuss and prepare your oral reports. You'll share with the class what good qualities your teacher possesses. And I'm sure that all of you will prepare acceptable presentations." She eyed us—mainly the Marauders—sternly.

"No problemo, Minnie!" Sirius chirped out cheerfully.

"I didn't see your hand, Mr. Black," McGonagall snapped.

"Sorry, won't happen again."

"And Mr. Black…"

"Yes?" he looked up expectantly.

"Don't call me 'Minnie'," she said, distastefully rolling the name 'Minnie' around in her mouth.

Then everybody started moving their desks around to their partners' desks. I shifted nervously in my seat. I didn't want to talk to him! What if he made some lewd comment again? I _knew_ I shouldn't have come! I should have made Kuzco cover for me!

I was just about to invoke a secret magic that would make me sink into the ground when someone—it just had to be the person who I was trying to hide from—plopped into the desk right next to mine.

"Do you _mind_?" I snapped. "I'm trying to invoke a secret magic that will get me out of here! It won't work if you're right there."

"Why, thank you for asking. I don't mind at all," Sirius said. He had a stupidly handsome grin on his sinfully beautiful face.

I grumbled something very uncomplimentary under my breath.

'_That won't do_,' Lexie chided me. '_You should only say things like that when you want them to be heard._'

"So… what do you want to do about the project?" he asked. He went on to casually prop his feet up on the table in front. I wrinkled my nose at this.

"What can we do?" I groaned in despair. "Delaney's nothing like a good example! The only thing we'll learn from her is how to dance properly in rituals."

"Then it's settled. We can't learn anything from her at all, so let's just stop with the hard working-ness," he stated.

I looked at him curiously. "But we need to get a good score on this."

He looked at me with a smug, know-it-all expression on his face.

'_Smack him_,' Lexie advised.

"We'll just do a parody of what Delaney does. You know that McGonagall doesn't like Delaney at all—she won't mark us down. Besides, McGonagall loves me. And don't you want to have a bit a fun in your life?"

'_Yum… fun_…' Lexie approved.

In a flash, I knew what I wanted to do.

"She's doing that ritual again Tuesday night next week. Here's what we'll do…" I started with an evil smile that Lexie applauded.

**--**

**A/N: Like? Dislike? Please tell me what you think! Thank you!**


End file.
